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Devices of War

Deep Third Person POV

Several of my writer friends have asked for an article on how to write deep third person POV, or point of view. There are already several great articles on how to write it, when to use it, the benefits of using it, and grammar usage in this POV. If you missed them, here’s a few:

The Editor’s Blog – What Is Deep Third Person POV

She Novel – How to Write Deep Third Person POV

Helping Writers Become Authors – Everything You Need to Know About Third Person POV

There isn’t a whole lot that I can really add that they haven’t already gone over. But here are a few highlights that I’ve discovered when authors think they’ve written in deep 3rd but haven’t.

Paige 5a

Voice

Deep 3rd has a lot in common with 1st person. As a matter of fact, I’ve had more than one editor tell me that I’m writing in 1st person…even though I’m using “she” instead of “I”. It’s a very intimate narrative. You’re using your character’s Voice instead of your own. You’re using her words. Not yours.

This was something I really had to work on in Whispers of the Skyborne because I had to use multiple POV’s in order to tell the story and, in order to keep the narrative fast-paced, I decided to keep the POV’s deep. Here are a few examples of how I used Voice to do this: Whispers of the Skyborne

Chapter 1

Rain beat against the windowpanes of the cockpit of the Khayal Layal. Lightning flashed though the dark storm clouds metres in front of us. Boiling ocean waves surged below. Thunder rattled through the windowed dome, clattering the rows of controls. A metallic tang laced the air.

One of my crew let out a startled screech.

Three months ago, my family had died. My entire tribe. Thousands of people in a matter of moments. Their ships had fallen from the sky in burning pieces, hitting the ocean’s surface kilometres below.

Chapter 2

Oki, Synn’s older sister and the current leader of Ino City, stepped off the elevator platform onto the command floor. The turquoise tile gleamed under the light cascading from the undulating belly of Ino’s lethara. It’s jellyfish skin glowed with yellows and slight bursts of blues as it shifted high above her. His smell was thicker here, but instead of turning her belly as it did others, it imbued her with a sense of familiarity and reassurance.

She needed that. Three months ago, her harebrained brother had taken possession of the entire planet, tipping it on its side, shaking everything out. He’d replaced leadership. He’d taken down two reigning powers at the same time like a big, powerful, overbearing, air-infected, pea-brained boy.

Then, he’d disappeared, leaving the world he’d flipped on its head wondering what in the love of dirt they were going to do.

Different View Points of the Same Action

As you can see, there are two different sides to the same story here. Three months ago, something major happened, but they both saw it differently. That’s something very important to keep in mind, too, and something that trips up a lot of authors and readers. Two people are not going to see the same thing the same way.

Thoughts and Italics

I think this is probably the biggest issue for a lot of editors who are used to omniscient third POV, or third person limited. Typically, when a character thinks, their thoughts are in italics. The reason for that is because we’re not really in their head. We’re receiving their thoughts as if we were telepaths and their thoughts are entering our minds.

In deep 3rd that’s not the case. We’re inside their head, sharing their thoughts in the same manner as 1st person. In 1st person, the only time thoughts are italics are when the thoughts belong to another person.

For more on this, see the Editor’s Blog – How to Punctuate Character Thoughts.

Adding Depth and Deleting Tags

This is the biggest thing for me. Deep 3rd adds depth. It just does. The reason for that is because we’re experiencing everything the character does as she lives through it. We feel what she feels. We hear what she hears. We see what she sees. And we don’t have to have her tell us that she’s feeling, hearing, or seeing. See below for an example that I just wrote in Witches of the West. Keep in mind this is Draft Suck.

She laced her fingers through his and walked to the double glass doors leading to the balcony.

The cool morning breeze danced along her skin. The wooden floorboards sent knives of ice into the bottoms of her feet.

Now, had this been in third limited, here’s what it might look like.

She laced her fingers through his and walked to the double glass doors leading to the balcony.

After the door opened, she felt the cool morning breeze dance along her skin. As soon as her feet landed on the floorboards, knives of ice shot through the bottoms.

There are more directions in third person limited. You have to direct the reader through each of the movements.

But in deep 3rd, you’re experiencing what the character is as she experiences, you don’t need the direction. There’s more story. Less unnecessary tags. Your narrative is shinier and gleams easier.

These are the biggest points for me. I love writing in deep 3rd. It is, by far, my favorite POV to use.

Devices of War is FREE and Discounted this week!

Ad - Sale DOW Try #2

Get book 1 in the Devices of War Series for FREE June 16 – 18

Author’s Extended Edition includes never before seen deleted scenes!

In a world governed by the opposing forces of the mystical House of Tarot and the tribal Great Families, Synn is caught in the crossfire. He witnesses the slaughter of innocent people, and the devastating murder of his father. This act awakens his Mark of power, a Mark greater than any the world has seen in a very long time.

Queen Nix thought she won a great prize when she destroyed Synn’s father, the leader of the strongest Great Families. She had no idea she’d be doubly blessed by capturing his son. However, before Synn can become her treasured weapon, before she can use him to bring the rest of the world to its knees, she must break him and bind his soul to hers.

She does her job with brutal brilliance. Synn’s mind is broken and his soul is seared to hers in an unbreakable bond.

That doesn’t stop him from wanting to be free. She may have broken his mind and claimed his soul, but he will find a way to destroy her.

Experience a world of ships that sail the clouds and cites buried beneath the ocean, and survive the fiery battle brought forth by those who control the forces of nature!

Knight of Wands

Whispers of the Skyborne

How Long Has It Been?

Since I posted? A while ago, apparently. Whispers of the Skyborne

Well, a lot’s happened. I re-launched the first two books of Devices of War, and now I’m working madly on Whiskey Witches! So, while it may not seem as though much is going on here, it’s VERY busy on my end.

So, if you missed it, Whispers of the Skyborne is LIVE!

Feel free to grab your copy at Amazon, B&N, and anywhere else you buy ebooks. The reviews are coming in and they are good! People love it! So, yay!!

So, what’s the scoop on Whiskey Witches?

1.2 Whiskey WitchesWell, a lot. Whiskey Witches Season 1 is getting a slight overhaul. It will be re-released in a couple of weeks.

Blood Moon Magick is in edits right now. It will be launched May 30, it looks like.

Barrell of Whiskey will follow July 11.

Also, Witches of the West is on schedule to release sometime in October!

So, yes. A lot.

It’s very, very busy in the Frankie cave right now, so stay tuned!

Cover Reveal for Devices of War Book 3

We’ve all seen the original cover for Book 3 floating around with the working title. Well, here’s the final cover with the official title!

WhispersoftheskyborneThe world has changed. The Great Families are no longer in power. Queen Nix of the Hands of Tarot has been stripped of her title and incarcerated. The League of Cities has been formed to provide a new line of defense to the smaller tribal nations.

Not without consequences, though. Another of the original Great Families has been destroyed. As the new leaders rise from the ashes, a new threat comes to light; something no one saw coming, something that had been lurking under the surface of their society for generations.

The Skyborne. As they discover just how deep the Skyborne’s influences are, they realize the war they thought they’d been fighting . . . . . . wasn’t the real one.

Pre-order now

Amazon / Whistling Book Press

Get book 1 and book 2

Meet the Author:

SM “Frankie” Blooding lives in Colorado with her pet rock, Rockie, and Jack the Bird. Jack has refused to let her to take up the piano again, but is warming to the guitar. It might help that Frankie has learned more than two strings. She’s added a few more Arabic words to her vocabulary, but don’t invite her into conversation yet—unless, of course, you’re willing to have a very . . . slow . . . conversation.

She’s dated vampires, werewolves, sorcerers, weapons smugglers and US Government assassins. Yes. She has stories.

She’s also an investigator with a local paranormal investigation group, Colorado Paranormal Rescue!

Find out more about her at:

Facebook /Twitter /Website / Newsletter

Author’s Extended Edition of Fall of Sky City is FREE!

Well, I’m giving away a few copies. If you’d like to get your hands on a free copy of the Author’s Extended Edition of Fall of Sky AND you’re willing to leave a review, please go here and download what version works best for you!

http://www.instafreebie.com/free/2YlkF

Dow 1

Hands of Tarot vs Fall of Sky City Launches

Originally published May 9, 2013 

It seems like everyone wants to hear how the re-launch of my steampunk adventure series is going. It was a terrifying move. So I’ll walk you through it and give you the real numbers.

Originally, I published the first book as the following:

Title: Hands of Tarot

Series Title: Hands of Tarot

 
She killed his father.
 
She imprisoned and beat him.And now she thinks he’s her trophy.Synn El’Asim will do almost anything to prove her wrong. But he’s only proving her right.Queen Nix awakened his Mark of power and inducted him into the House of Wands. She knew what she was doing. The son of the two most powerful Families standing against her is the ultimate prize.What she didn’t take into consideration was that maybe he was too strong for her.Maybe.
But the Families aren’t. They’ve been weakened and it’ll take a lot more than one young man with a powerful Mark to take on the Hands of Tarot.

The Response

No one knew what to expect with this book. The genre mash-up, while awesome and unique, doesn’t tell the reader what to expect. Each genre has their own set of rules. The unfortunate thing was that people picked this up thinking it might be a steampunk romance because that scene is HUGE right now. Unfortunately, when Nix is breaking Synn, she uses a few methods that are absolutely TABOO in romance. No details were given. I didn’t want to go there. I didn’t feel it was necessary. But because people picked it up as a romance, they thought it was “safe”, and thus were caught by surprise when Synn does a gloss-over of these events.

I love this cover. When Dawne first showed it to me, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. But it didn’t do a great job of showing the reader to what expect. It shows the antagonist on the cover, instead of the protagonist. This is probably why people thought it was a romance.

Also, some people thought it was a how-to book on Tarot. I loved the play with the tarot card here, but it just confused the reader. That really bummed me.

The blurb was good, but not solid. It worked better as a teaser excerpt than a blurb. People read that and didn’t know what the book was about.

So with all that said, in the six months the book was active, here’s the sales stats:

SOLD: 7 

FREE: 501

TBR adds on Goodreads: 15

The free days were heavily promoted and I paid for some of that promotion. Also, that’s all five free days.

I also gave this book (3) blog tours, and they were BIG! And through all f that, I sold 7 copies. Granted, that doesn’t count the hard copies that I sold to friends and family. But all that hard work, and there was passible interest and I sold 7 copies.

The RE-LAUNCH

So I sat down with my BFF’s, Veronica and Cabbitgirl, and SistaPITA. Together, we came up with the idea that something was wrong in my marketing plan. They all agreed that this was probably the best book I’d written. It just needed to be presented better.

I gave it a new title, which was the scariest part! I got a new cover, which cost the same as the first one. I gave it a new blurb. Oh, and I gave it another round of edits. All in all, the investment was pretty small.

So, largely with SistaPITA’s help, here’s what we came up with:

Title: Fall of Sky City

Series Title: Devices of War Trilogy

 
skycity_fullIn a world governed by the opposing forces of the mystical House of Tarot and the tribal Great Families, Synn is caught in the crossfire. He witnesses the slaughter of innocent people, and the devastating murder of his father.This act awakens his Mark of power, a Mark greater than any the world has seen in a very long time.
 
 
Queen Nix thought she won a great prize when she destroyed Synn’s father, the leader of the strongest Great Families. She had no idea she’d be doubly blessed by capturing his son. 
 
However, before Synn can become her treasured weapon, before she can use him to bring the rest of the world to its knees, she must break him and bind his soul to hers.
 
She does her job with brutal brilliance. Synn’s mind is broken and his soul is seared to hers in an unbreakable bond. That doesn’t stop him from wanting to be free. She may have broken his mind and claimed his soul, but he will find a way to destroy her.
 
Experience a world of ships that sail the clouds and cites buried beneath the ocean, and survive the fiery battle brought forth by those who control the forces of nature! 

The Response

I had 441 people add it to their TBR when I launched the cover reveal. People were talking about it a month before I re-launched it! I had people asking me for review copies, where as before, I couldn’t pay people to take the book. I got three reviews posted before the official launch date, and the readers UNDERSTOOD what was going on! The new package was aimed correctly!

I set up one blog tour, not a huge one, but one. In the first WEEK here are my stats:

SOLD: 53

FREE: 1,077

I barely promoted the free days. I mentioned it on Twitter and FB. I asked Kathy at I Am a Reader to Highlight it and that was it.

Now, I realize I still have a loooooong way to go. It’s going to be an uphill battle with this book and this series. We’re in a difficult genre. This probably won’t be a million dollar book (not that I’ll ever have that, I know). But it’s finally got the right marketing plan, and it shows with only a week in.

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