Frankie's Wining Room

Drinking wine while writing, reading, crafting, and whining


June 2016

Deep Third Person POV

Several of my writer friends have asked for an article on how to write deep third person POV, or point of view. There are already several great articles on how to write it, when to use it, the benefits of using it, and grammar usage in this POV. If you missed them, here’s a few:

The Editor’s Blog – What Is Deep Third Person POV

She Novel – How to Write Deep Third Person POV

Helping Writers Become Authors – Everything You Need to Know About Third Person POV

There isn’t a whole lot that I can really add that they haven’t already gone over. But here are a few highlights that I’ve discovered when authors think they’ve written in deep 3rd but haven’t.

Paige 5a


Deep 3rd has a lot in common with 1st person. As a matter of fact, I’ve had more than one editor tell me that I’m writing in 1st person…even though I’m using “she” instead of “I”. It’s a very intimate narrative. You’re using your character’s Voice instead of your own. You’re using her words. Not yours.

This was something I really had to work on in Whispers of the Skyborne because I had to use multiple POV’s in order to tell the story and, in order to keep the narrative fast-paced, I decided to keep the POV’s deep. Here are a few examples of how I used Voice to do this: Whispers of the Skyborne

Chapter 1

Rain beat against the windowpanes of the cockpit of the Khayal Layal. Lightning flashed though the dark storm clouds metres in front of us. Boiling ocean waves surged below. Thunder rattled through the windowed dome, clattering the rows of controls. A metallic tang laced the air.

One of my crew let out a startled screech.

Three months ago, my family had died. My entire tribe. Thousands of people in a matter of moments. Their ships had fallen from the sky in burning pieces, hitting the ocean’s surface kilometres below.

Chapter 2

Oki, Synn’s older sister and the current leader of Ino City, stepped off the elevator platform onto the command floor. The turquoise tile gleamed under the light cascading from the undulating belly of Ino’s lethara. It’s jellyfish skin glowed with yellows and slight bursts of blues as it shifted high above her. His smell was thicker here, but instead of turning her belly as it did others, it imbued her with a sense of familiarity and reassurance.

She needed that. Three months ago, her harebrained brother had taken possession of the entire planet, tipping it on its side, shaking everything out. He’d replaced leadership. He’d taken down two reigning powers at the same time like a big, powerful, overbearing, air-infected, pea-brained boy.

Then, he’d disappeared, leaving the world he’d flipped on its head wondering what in the love of dirt they were going to do.

Different View Points of the Same Action

As you can see, there are two different sides to the same story here. Three months ago, something major happened, but they both saw it differently. That’s something very important to keep in mind, too, and something that trips up a lot of authors and readers. Two people are not going to see the same thing the same way.

Thoughts and Italics

I think this is probably the biggest issue for a lot of editors who are used to omniscient third POV, or third person limited. Typically, when a character thinks, their thoughts are in italics. The reason for that is because we’re not really in their head. We’re receiving their thoughts as if we were telepaths and their thoughts are entering our minds.

In deep 3rd that’s not the case. We’re inside their head, sharing their thoughts in the same manner as 1st person. In 1st person, the only time thoughts are italics are when the thoughts belong to another person.

For more on this, see the Editor’s Blog – How to Punctuate Character Thoughts.

Adding Depth and Deleting Tags

This is the biggest thing for me. Deep 3rd adds depth. It just does. The reason for that is because we’re experiencing everything the character does as she lives through it. We feel what she feels. We hear what she hears. We see what she sees. And we don’t have to have her tell us that she’s feeling, hearing, or seeing. See below for an example that I just wrote in Witches of the West. Keep in mind this is Draft Suck.

She laced her fingers through his and walked to the double glass doors leading to the balcony.

The cool morning breeze danced along her skin. The wooden floorboards sent knives of ice into the bottoms of her feet.

Now, had this been in third limited, here’s what it might look like.

She laced her fingers through his and walked to the double glass doors leading to the balcony.

After the door opened, she felt the cool morning breeze dance along her skin. As soon as her feet landed on the floorboards, knives of ice shot through the bottoms.

There are more directions in third person limited. You have to direct the reader through each of the movements.

But in deep 3rd, you’re experiencing what the character is as she experiences, you don’t need the direction. There’s more story. Less unnecessary tags. Your narrative is shinier and gleams easier.

These are the biggest points for me. I love writing in deep 3rd. It is, by far, my favorite POV to use.


Think You Couldn’t Possibly Lose Your Amazon Publishing Account? Think Again.

Update: She did get books back up and they are currently for sale! That was pretty frelling scary, though. If you haven’t read her books, you should. Grab a copy now.

This is particularly terrifying and something we all need to watch out for. This could potentially ruin an author’s career.

The Active Voice

There’s this indie author I know a little bit from the forum. Her name is Pauline Creeden, and she’s an ordinary midlister, like so many of us. I remember PMing her some time ago and gushing about how particularly beautiful one of her book covers is — the one for Chronicles of Steele: Raven.collection Here, I’ll include an image. Gorgeous, eh?

Anyway, today I tuned in to Kboards and noticed that Pauline had started a thread. It contained what’s surely the worst news possible for an indie author: Amazon had closed her publishing account. All her ebooks had been taken off sale. Permanently. Here’s the email she got from Amazon:

We are reaching out to you because we have detected that borrows for your books are originating from systematically generated accounts. While we support the legitimate efforts of our publishers to promote their books, attempting to manipulate…

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Devices of War is FREE and Discounted this week!

Ad - Sale DOW Try #2

Get book 1 in the Devices of War Series for FREE June 16 – 18

Author’s Extended Edition includes never before seen deleted scenes!

In a world governed by the opposing forces of the mystical House of Tarot and the tribal Great Families, Synn is caught in the crossfire. He witnesses the slaughter of innocent people, and the devastating murder of his father. This act awakens his Mark of power, a Mark greater than any the world has seen in a very long time.

Queen Nix thought she won a great prize when she destroyed Synn’s father, the leader of the strongest Great Families. She had no idea she’d be doubly blessed by capturing his son. However, before Synn can become her treasured weapon, before she can use him to bring the rest of the world to its knees, she must break him and bind his soul to hers.

She does her job with brutal brilliance. Synn’s mind is broken and his soul is seared to hers in an unbreakable bond.

That doesn’t stop him from wanting to be free. She may have broken his mind and claimed his soul, but he will find a way to destroy her.

Experience a world of ships that sail the clouds and cites buried beneath the ocean, and survive the fiery battle brought forth by those who control the forces of nature!

Knight of Wands

Whispers of the Skyborne

What’s Your Favorite Thesaurus? Share It To Unlock The WHW Prize Vault

I’ve been using Becca’s & Angela’s thesauruses for years in my writing. They’re a huge help! I’m wickedly excited about their newest thesaurus, the Urban and Rural Setting Thesaurus! I’ll be using them to help me write Witches of the West.

I was able to get my hands on the Rural Setting Thesaurus early. Here’s what I had to say about it:

Setting can sometimes become static. It’s just there. Also, there are times when you don’t describe it as actively as you could because you’re focused on other things. Also, you sometimes forget all the different senses you use when you walk into an attic. It’s an attic. Dry. Hot. Dusty. Boxes. Done.

This book helps to breathe life into your setting. The other Thesaurus books offered lists of words that could be used in replace of a word you overly use.

This Thesaurus is a bit different. It lists the thing you want to describe, and then gives you several phrases that spur creativity, inject visuals, and help you see your scene in depths you might have otherwise have missed.

These gals have done it again! This is a powerfully helpful tool for any author, from the new to the experienced. I will be using this again and again! I love this book and I love this series! They’re a remarkable tool!

As we storytellers sit before the keyboard to craft our magic, we’re usually laser-focused on the two titans of fiction: plot and character. Yet, there’s a third element that impacts almost every aspect of the tale, one we really need to home in on as well: the setting.

The setting is so much more than a painted backdrop, more than a stage for our characters to tromp across during the scene. Used to its full advantage, the setting can characterize the story’s cast, supply mood, steer the plot, provide challenges and conflict, trigger emotions, help us deliver those necessary snippets of backstory…and that’s just scratching the surface. So the question is this: how do we unleash the full power of the setting within our stories?

Well, there’s some good news on that front. Two new books have released this week that may change the description game for writers. The Urban Setting Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to City Spaces and The Rural Setting Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Personal and Natural Spaces look at the sights, smells, tastes, textures, and sounds a character might experience within 225 different contemporary settings. And this is only the start of what these books offer writers.

In fact, swing by and check out this hidden entry from the Rural Setting Thesaurus: Ancient Ruins.

And there’s one more thing you might want to know more about….

Rock_The_Vault_WHW1Becca and Angela, authors of The Emotion Thesaurus, are celebrating their double release with a fun event going on from June 13-20th called ROCK THE VAULT. At the heart of the Writers Helping Writers site is a tremendous vault, and these two ladies have been hoarding prizes of epic writerly proportions.

A safe full of prizes, ripe for the taking…if the writing community can work together to unlock it, of course.

Ready to do your part? Stop by Writers Helping Writers to find out more!

Blood Moon Magick is available NOW!

It’s been a long time in coming–or so it seems–but Blood Moon Magick is finally released for public consumption!

1.2 Whiskey Witches

Detective Paige Whiskey has a lot on her plate. A gate to Hell is permanently seared into her soul and she has no way of controlling it. She let a psychotic serial killing demon free in exchange for Dexx’s life. Her sister is about to have a baby and a whole world of crazy has opened in the Whiskey household. And, if that wasn’t enough, she and Dexx are trying to figure out their relationship.

They’re about to discover a world that has been hidden from the Whiskeys. A world of shapeshifters, werewolves, and vampires. A world that was hidden to end a bloody war. A war between shifters and witches.

Paige has to make a decision. Solve this murder and start a war? Or ignore it and keep her family safe?

But when Dexx is bitten, all everything changes. War? Or love?

If that’s not enough, listen to what readers have to say!

5-Stars – Just wow! These stories just get richer as they go. By Stilwatrsqaw

5-Stars – I love Whiskey Witches and the second book in the series in even better than the first! It reminded me of the Buffy gang for some reason. Now that Dexx was bitten I really really can’t wait for book 3! I absolutely LOVE this series! – By BookLover
And! In preparation of the next book, I’ve added a lot of fun tidbits on the website, including previews, insights, and character pages!
Site Shot
Want to learn the latest information as it becomes available? Join the mailing list!

Dream Killers is FREE and Discounted This Week!

DreamKillers FREEDAYS

Episode 1 Graveyard Dreams FREE June 6-7
My name’s River, and I’m a dream killer.

The Sea of Dreams spat me out without any memories of who was or where I came from. I’ve spent years traveling Dreamland in our gypsy caravan, searching for clues. All I’ve discovered is that the all-powerful elders are collecting people like me—Dreamlanders who don’t fit in.

Then I met a man who sails the Sea of Dreams, the one place all Dreamlanders fear. One touch of those ocean waves could shred the soul. Yet, he’s like me. He can hear the water’s whispers, touch her waves, and watch her dreams. My answers are out there—on his ship, on that sea.

Somewhere out there is the graveyard of dreams.

Episode 2 Eyes of Stars FREE June 8 – 9
We’re under attack. The elders and their runners are grabbing as many people with unique gifts as they can to determine why Dreamland requires them. Why give birth to a basher with the ability to create? Why allow a cleaner the gift of healing? What is her design? Her intent?
They’re not the only ones looking to use these specially gifted individuals. The mechanics and their army of hunters are capturing them as well, but with a different intent. They unleashed a virus, a virus of dreamers. Yes. Dreamers are attacking Dreamlanders.
Dreamland has sent a savior, a mechanic capable of healing anything and anyone, one who’s stronger than any master mechanic we’ve ever seen. She didn’t do this to save Dreamlanders or your precious land of dreams. No. She sent us a cure to save me.
She needs me. I don’t want to know why.

Episode 3 Captain Tightpants ON SALE $.99 June 10-11
Everything is better than ever. The graveyard is healing. The creatures are propagating and assisting the trapped dreamers. It seems as though my job is done.

Seems so. That is until the dreamer trapped in my net shows up with strange stories about unicorns roaming around Denver. Our fold of reality is melting in Earth’s. When Cable, the riverboat captain, steals the net, intent on destroying my dreamer to power his boat, Dreamland reveals a new secret.

I know who I am, and it’s not at all what I thought

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