Originally published 8-May-2009

Dexx: *walks in door* What the hell was that?

Frankie: That was Riley telling me I had no business butting into her More-Than-Snogging business.

Dexx: More-than–What? Riley? Are you sure?

Frankie: *hands in air*

Dexx: Which one? Rune or Kes–

Frankie: Rune. Trust me. There’s nothing going on between her and Kestral.

Dexx: Try telling that to Kes. *leans against closet door*

Frankie: *shakes head* He’s not even interest–

Dexx: I could go kick his butt.

Frankie: *rolls eyes and flops back in chair* If we were talking about Rune and not Riley, this’d be a completely different conversation.

Dexx: *narrows eyes*

Frankie: Don’t give me that look. You know it’s the truth. You’d be all like, “You go, boy. You’re 17 now. It’s time to be a man.”

Dexx: No I–*shoves hands in pockets* I’d say that behind your back.

Frankie: *nods* Exactly. She’s just so…*slouches in chair* She reminds me of my oldest.

Dexx: You’ve got a long ways to go before she gets to that age.

Frankie: Yeah, I know, but–*crosses ankle over knee* That’s kinda not the point.

Dexx: Look, you can’t treat Riley like she’s your daughter. You can go ape-nuts with your daughter–

Frankie: *shakes head* But–

Dexx: *holds up hand* –and you’ll get that chance, but Riley comes to you as a friend.

Frankie: *head flopping around in a yes, no, I-don’t-know* Yeah, but I’m the responsible adult and she’s the kid.

Dexx: You’ve got to stop seeing her as a kid. *quirks lips*

Frankie: *rolls eyes*

*Bal and Paige enter the room*

Bal: So, I take it the talk didn’t go so well.

Frankie: I tried…to stay calm. I mean…kinda. It just–she started to–and then–well, things didn’t go well.

Paige: *chuckles* I don’t think I’ll ever get that–

Dexx: *slashes hand* Both of you! You’ll both get the chance to have this conversation with your daughters. Would you just–

Paige: *ignores Dexx* So, if she were your daughter, what do you think you’d do?

Frankie: Strap an iron chastity belt around her nether regions, purchase a sawed off shot gun, and go for target practice.

Dexx: *winces* Ouch. Remind me not to piss you off.

Bal: You realize that if you tell her no, it will–

Frankie: *nods* I know. Make it that more exciting. But third base isn’t that far behind second.

Dexx: Dude, he made to second base?

Frankie: *pained expression and a nod*

Dexx: That’s it. I’m going to go kick is a– *stomps out the door*

Paige: Do you seriously think that’ll help?

Frankie: Hey, it worked on Bones when Booth did the whole “I’m an FBI agent and I know how to find you if you touch her or her or–”

Paige: Oooooh, I’m so gonna have to use that.

Frankie: If Dexx doesn’t do it first.

*something crashes in the living room, followed by a thud and a “Hey, man! What the–“*

Frankie: So do I tell Sahara?

Bal and Paige: No!

Paige: But! If it’s Leah, yes!

Bal: If it’s Leah, most definately no!

Paige: *gives Frankie the International MomUnderstands look*

Frankie: *nods* Okay. So I need to apologize…and–

Paige: –stop flipping out and–

Bal: –relax and let Sahara be the mom.

Frankie: But if she doesn’t know–

Bal: She’s still the mom and you’re the confident.

Frankie: *frowns* Okay. I guess I should go find her.

*when Frankie goes into the living room, it’s trashed, like beyond normal. The lamp is on the floor. The TV is askew, and one of the many boxes of books stacked 6′ high has crashed onto the floor. Luckily, there was enough duct tape that the books are still IN the box. The bad news is, it was probably loud enough that the downstairs neighbors will complain*

Frankie: *goes out the front door and finds Riley on the stairs* Can I sit here?

Riley: *shrugs*

Frankie: Look, I just wanted to–*jumps a little when the icy cold seeps through her thin running pants*–apologize. Sometimes I forget that I’m an adult, but not your mom. I just worry.

Riley: Yeah, well, me too. I mean, that I forget, you know. So, sorry.


Frankie: You’re not thinking about–you know, doing it with–*hiccup*–well, with anyone right now, are you?

Riley: Are you nuts? Let’s forget for one minute that my dad is excellent with the long bow or that my mom could take me out with a thought.

Frankie: Well, yeah. There is that.

Riley: It’s not–It’s not something that I’m going to go out and just, you know, do. Mom–you know, she had “the talk” with me and I completely get it. It was a good talk. I get where she’s coming from.

Frankie: *nods* That’s great, but what happens when the kissing gets a little too intense and then there’s the touching and the feeling and the–*words get stuck*–the other stuff. How are you going to just stop?

Riley: Well–*looks at Frankie and smiles* I’ve got your voice in my head.

Frankie: *laughs* That’s…um, that’s funny.

Riley: Yeah.

*silence. Car drives by, kicking up the snow/sleet that’s falling*

Frankie: So I can trust you.

Riley: Yeah.

Frankie: For now.

Riley: Yeah.

Frankie: And if anything’s about to happen–

Riley: Dexx or Quinn or my mother will kick Rune’s butt.

Frankie: *angelic smile*

Riley: *laughs* Or, okay, you.

Frankie: *long sigh* Okay. Fine. I’ll let it go for now, but no third base! None! No! None…not while you’re in my head!

Riley: Do you know how messed up that is?

Frankie: *snort* Uh, yeah.

*another loud crash is heard coming from inside the apartment*

Frankie: I need to–yeah, go check on that. Catch you later.

*Frankie opens the door to find Rune pinned to the floor by Dexx, his mouth smooshed against the carpet*

Rune: But, Mr. Colter, I didn’t do anything.

Frankie: *closes the door and smiles at the boy* Put the fear in him, Dexx. *steps over them* I’m going to make supper. Anyone else ready for some supper? Chowder sounds great to me.